Special Ops Shifters: Dallas Force: The Complete Series Collection (Shifter Nation) Page 10

  Ash swallowed as his skin touched hers, his hardness demanding against her heat and softness. “You don’t know what you do to me, Lane.”

  “Yes, I do,” she said with a laugh. “I absolutely know.” She moved her legs to accommodate him and he plunged inside, gasping at the exquisite sensation of being inside her. They had no reason to know each other well, given that their interactions had been within the confines of that torture chamber they’d just left behind. And yet the two of them moved in sync, her hips lifting and pulsing in time to his, their bodies creating a symphony of movement.

  “Lane,” he breathed, tasting her name on his tongue as he touched his lips to her skin, focusing on the pulse that fluttered beneath it.

  “Ash.” It wasn’t a question, and she drew out the single syllable into something luscious and enticing.

  He’d never felt so at home before, even out there in the middle of the ocean. Ash closed his eyes, his muscles tensing. He wasn’t going to be able to remain in control for long. “I really do love you, Lane.” He spoke the words not only to reassure her, but because he needed to hear them out loud to know this was all real. It wasn’t just a lucid dream from too many nights in the desert, and it wasn’t some vague promise of a good life once his work with the military was done. He’d thought he understood his life’s work as he’d taken down terrorists, but all that was just what he had to do to get here.

  “I love you, too.” Her breath choked into a gasp as she fell into convulsions around him. Her thighs gripped hard against his legs, her nails sinking into his back.

  Ash let go, plummeting into her for all he was worth. He buried his moans in the nape of her neck, wanting to keep their pleasure between the two of them.

  When he lay next to her, feeling the way her body fit against his, even when they were locked together by nature’s demand, the real world started to trickle back into Ash’s mind. Some of it could wait, like discussing all the final details with Drake and the others. They had a long ride back to friendly territory, but there were some decisions that had to be made. As much as he wanted to preserve this gentle stillness between them, it couldn’t last forever.

  “You never answered me,” he said softly, uncertain if she was awake or not.

  She was, but her voice held sleep in it as she rolled toward him. The bunk was only made for one person, and it was tight with the two of them in it together, but Ash would gladly sacrifice a little room as long as he got to lay there with his arm around her. “Answered you about what?”

  “Dallas.” The word sounded big and heavy coming out of his mouth, filling the room. It was easier to admit his love and passion for her—both verbally and physically—then to force her to decide what she was going to do with the rest of her life. “I know it’s a lot to think about, but I don’t want to be away from you.”

  “Oh.” She was quiet then, and Ash thought she might’ve drifted off, but then she sucked in a breath. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to the rest of my flight.”

  “Drake assured me we can find temporary accommodations for them until they decide what they want to do.” Was she determined to stay near her family? He couldn’t blame her, although he hadn’t been a part of a clan for a long time. “I’m sorry. I just want you near me.”

  “Don’t apologize.” She turned the rest of the way in the bed so that her head was tucked up under his chin. Lane’s arms circled him, holding him close. “I’ll come to Dallas.”

  His bear relaxed into utter bliss, and Ash fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

  9

  Lane gasped, flying to a sitting position in bed. She clutched at her chest, feeling the rapid thunder of her heart. “What is that?” she whispered aloud into the dark, terrified by the noise that sounded just outside.

  Ash touched her arm with a sleepy hand, his head still buried in the pillow. “It’s just a car alarm. Nothing to be worried about.”

  “Oh. Right.” She slowed her breath as she tucked herself back under the covers. She’d been in Dallas with Ash for an entire week now, and still she couldn’t get used to the noise of the place. He’d done a lot of explaining on the fishing boat, wanting to make sure she understood he was part of this Force and that he didn’t even have a place of his own to stay at in Dallas, other than the living space that’d been built into their headquarters.

  Lane had nodded her understanding, and at the time, it’d been easy to think it would be fine. She’d lived in some of the harshest environments in the world, and before they’d moved down to Antarctica, she’d had some experience living among humans. She could handle that, especially if it meant having Ash at her side.

  But the noise and busyness of the place grated against her very bones. She lay awake, listening to the car alarm beep into the night until someone finally shut it off. The relative silence that filled the air after that was a relief, but as she watched sunlight creep into their little apartment, the noises started up again. People were up and moving, doors opening and closing, dogs barking, cars buzzing by with their stereos bumping and buses zooming down the street with their horns going.

  Lane felt like she was constantly shaking inside. She slipped out from under Ash’s arm and the covers and padded into the small kitchen. Everything had changed so much since the last time she’d lived this way, but at least she understood the coffee pot. The last thing she needed was more caffeine, but it offered a warm comfort she found in so few other places.

  “You’re up early again today,” Ash said with a smile when he came into the living room an hour later. He planted a kiss on her forehead and poured himself a cup of coffee. “I’ve got a text from Drake, so I’m going into the office today. The Force wanted me to go through some training, but that mission to Antarctica interfered with that a bit.”

  She forced a smile to her face. Lane loved Ash. She truly did, and even trying to live there in Dallas hadn’t changed that. Her heart lifted when he walked into the room, and when he took her into his arms, it was easy to believe that everything would be all right. “I guess the training never stops for a man like you, does it?”

  “Not really, but I don’t mind.” He sat down across from her at the tiny table. “I figure there’s always more I can learn, and it keeps me all the more prepared for the next mission.”

  Ash was so lively, so full of energy, so happy there. The contrast between the way he felt and the way she did was a heavy burden on her heart.

  “So, what are you up to today?” he asked innocently.

  “Maren is coming over for a little bit.” The female dragon was Garrison’s mate, and she’d met them in Dallas as soon as they’d arrived. She was more than eager to get to know yet another dragon and explained to Lane that it was now her goal to find all the dragons in the world she could and let them know they weren’t alone.

  “Good.” His voice and his smile were genuine. “I’m glad you’ve got someone else to talk to. I know I’m gone a lot, and I’ll be leaving for longer periods of time when I start getting regular missions. You’ve already got your flight, but Maren will be a great friend to you.”

  “She’s very sweet.” Lane could see why Garrison was so smitten with her, and she was surprisingly easy to talk to.

  Ash knocked back the rest of his coffee. “I’ve got to jump in the shower and get going.”

  He left twenty minutes later, and Maren showed up at the door midmorning. Her jet-black hair and bright blue eyes were becoming a familiar and welcome sight for Lane, as was the gentle rounding of her belly where she and Garrison’s dragonling was growing. “Good morning,” she chirped. “Do you want to step around the corner with me for some coffee?”

  Lane felt a familiar burning sensation on the backs of her eyes. It was one that was getting harder and harder to fight off, even though she knew she should be happy. “Actually, I’d rather stay here if you don’t mind. I do have coffee, though.”

  “Of course.” Maren stepped into the apartment and set her purse on the side
table. “I don’t mean to brag, but I have to say Garrison and his team did a decent job of fixing this place up. He sent me some pictures before they started, and it was hardly anything but concrete. So cold and unwelcoming! A little small, maybe, but he wanted to make sure there was plenty of room for anyone on the new unit of the Force who needed a place to stay.”

  “It’s nice,” Lane said as she poured them each a mug.

  “But?” Maren raised a dark eyebrow as she reached for the creamer.

  Lane sighed. “But nothing. It’s a nice place. It’s the perfect size for the two of us.” She carried her mug to that same small table where she and Ash had been sipping their coffee not too long ago. Already, she was tired of looking at the same wood grain over and over.

  “There’s something bothering you,” Maren said softly. “If it’s something I can help with, then I’d love to. I know it can’t be easy for you to come to a place like this.”

  Her seeming ability to read Lane’s mind touched her deeply, but it also opened the floodgate of tears. Lane turned her face away, not wanting her new friend to see her looking so miserable. “No, it’s not easy at all. It’s miserable. Don’t get me wrong. Garrison really did a great job building this place. But I feel like the whole world lives right here with us. There’s all this commotion around me all the time, but I feel like I’m stuck in one spot.”

  “Oh, Lane. I’m so sorry you feel that way. If it’s a matter of getting out a little more, then we can arrange that. I can come by more often. And I’ve gotten your flight settled into a nice big house out in the country. We can visit them anytime.”

  It was a nice idea, but it didn’t reduce the hopeless feeling that’d become lodged in Lane’s chest. “But I can’t just keep relying on you to cart me around. It’s not fair to you, and besides that, you and Garrison will want to get back home soon before the baby is born.”

  Maren pursed her lips, her arctic blue eyes searching the air for a better solution. “I suppose that’s true. Have you told Ash how you feel about all this?”

  Lane shook her head. “I can’t. He’s so damn happy! That should make me happy if we’re really supposed to be together. The man practically jumps out of bed every morning and whistles all the way to work, but I just sit here feeling sorry for myself. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me, but there must be something. Otherwise, why would I be the only one having such a hard time adjusting?” She snagged a paper napkin and dabbed at her face, ashamed that she’d broken down like this.

  Her friend was silent for a long time as she ran her fingertip around the rim of her mug. “Has Garrison ever said anything about how the two of us met?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  She tipped her head back. “He was part of the SOS Force, just like he is now. Former military, lots of different and very worldly experiences under his belt. He came out to Lake Tahoe on a mission, and he found me. The local residents had me pegged as a lake monster, some mythical creature that couldn’t possibly be real. But he soon discovered that I was real, and that I was just as feral as you’d expect any other lake monster to be.”

  Lane dried her eyes enough to study the other woman. With her pearl stud earrings, gently waved hair, and designer shoes, she certainly didn’t look like a savage. “That’s hard to believe.”

  “Oh, believe it! I’d had a little exposure to humans, but I was trying so hard to stay away from them and their culture. I didn’t think anything modern could possibly be good. And I was pretty overwhelmed when I came to D.C. to be with Garrison. I wasn’t sure I’d made the right decision, not because of him, but because of everyone else.”

  “You seem to have adjusted well.” Lane twisted the napkin in her hands. “I keep telling myself that I’ll adjust, too. I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty strong person, and I was just so confident that I could do this.”

  “You can,” Maren insisted, “but you have to give yourself some time. It’s not easy, and it’s not something that’s going to happen overnight. But you also don’t have to do it alone. I’m going to be here for at least another week, and even when I’m gone, you’ve got your flight and you’ve got Ash. Hell, you’ve got the whole SOS Force at your back. It might be hard to believe, especially from someone like Flint, but they’re really just one big blended family. Give yourself a chance. Just push yourself a little bit each day instead of expecting it all to fall in place at once.”

  “You really think that’ll work?” Lane sniffed. She felt like such a fool. There were millions of other people in the world who could handle this, and there was no reason she shouldn’t be able to do this same.

  “I do. I have every bit of confidence in you, and I know that Ash does, too. It’s not always easy, and that’s okay.” Maren let out a short laugh. “Trust me, I’ve thought more than once about what life is going to be like once this baby comes. Little ones don’t always know how to control their shifting, and the last thing I want is for my child to end up on the cover of the tabloids because he or she sprouted a tail in the middle of a playground.”

  Lane couldn’t help but smile. “Fair enough. At least I don’t have to worry about that."

  “And don’t underestimate Ash. Really. I don’t know him all that well yet, but he never would’ve been asked to be part of the Force if he wasn’t a good man. They’re not just looking for military skill. Let him know how you feel and he’ll help you.”

  When Maren left to take care of some other errands, Lane spent the rest of the day trying to convince herself that the other dragon was right. There was no reason to worry, and there was no reason to think that she had to get it all figured out at once. It would be all right. It had to be.

  Ash swept in the door that evening smelling of the outdoors, his dark eyes lit up with excitement as he scooped her into his arms and kissed her. Lane gladly fell into his embrace, relishing the way his hands appreciated her flesh.

  “That’s quite a hello,” she purred against his chest.

  “What can I say? I missed you.” Ash pushed back to hold her at arm’s length. “You know, I think about you all day. It doesn’t matter how busy they keep me; I just want to be home with you. And now that I am, let me take you out to dinner. Someplace nice.”

  “What’s the occasion?” she asked nervously.

  He swept his hand over her backside and back up around her hips as he pulled her close once again. “Do I need a special occasion? Maybe I just want to celebrate being with you.” He pecked another kiss on her bottom lip. “Let me just go get cleaned up.”

  Lane glanced down at her clothes and touched her hair. She felt so inadequate. Was she even good enough for a man like him? The deepest parts of her mind chided her for being so self-conscious, but she shoved them aside again.

  Being a typical man, polar bear or not, Ash didn’t take long to wash his face, change his clothes, and comb his hair. He came out from the bedroom and wrapped his arms around her from behind. “What’s wrong, love? You feel tense.”

  She recalled her conversation with Maren. The other dragon was right. She should be able to confide in her mate. “I’m just a little nervous. I’m not used to the crowds.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that,” he soothed as he nuzzled her neck. “I’ll be right there with you. It’ll be fine.”

  But it wasn’t. She could handle stepping out of their apartment and down a hall to the other side of the building where his car was parked. But her stomach lurched inside her as soon as he pulled through the overhead door and out into traffic. It felt like everyone else in Dallas had left work at the same time and was rushing to get somewhere. Her muscles stiffened as she flinched every time a car changed lanes next to them.

  “Just relax, baby. I know there’s a lot of traffic right now, but I’m used to it.” True enough, Ash was confident and capable behind the wheel. He wasn’t fazed in the least when a truck pulled out in front of him or a car swooped to the right without using a turn signal.

  W
hen they arrived at the restaurant, Lane thought it was all over with. She’d gotten past the worst part, and now all she had to do was sit down with her mate and enjoy some good food. There was no need to panic about what the drive home would be like just yet, because worrying wouldn’t make any difference.

  But as soon as Ash opened the wide entry door to the restaurant, Lane froze. It was packed with people, every one of them dressed to the nines and looking elegant. She swore they paused with their drinks and forkfuls of salmon in the air to stare at her, to assess her, to see the animal that she was under the surface.

  Ash’s hand was on the small of her back. “What’s wrong?”

  “I—I can’t do this.” She turned away from his touch, but the sidewalk was no more comforting. Other patrons were trying to get into the restaurant, and the torrent of traffic was far too close. She felt the hardness of the concrete under her feet as she made her way back toward the car.

  Ash was at her side again in a second. “Lane, wait! What’s going on? Talk to me.”

  She turned to him, seeking comfort in those dark eyes. “I just can’t do this. There are so many people.”

  “That’s all right. We’ll just go home and order in.” But there was disappointment in his eyes, maybe even hurt, as he guided her back to the car and opened the door for her.

  Lane’s throat was tight as she tried not to cry on the ride back home. “I’m sorry. It’s just that things weren’t like this when I lived in Arizona. It was kind of a remote place, and as soon as the population started increasing, we decided to leave. Everything was at a slower pace back then.”

  He put a hand on her thigh. “I’m sure that’s true. Everyone is always in a hurry these days.”

  Lane was quiet for the rest of the ride home and said little after Ash picked up some sandwiches from around the corner. He held her close while they sat on the couch and watched TV together afterwards, something that she’d originally thought would be a good way to help her study modern life, but that now just seemed like a big tease. The characters had their challenges, sure, but none of them were practically aliens coming to live in a new world.