Secret Baby for the Soldier Bear Page 11

  Testing, testing. 1, 2, 3! Raul joked.

  Is this thing on? Jude added.

  You guys are going to be fun. Amar’s voice was serious, but there was a hint of amusement in his brilliant gold eyes. Let’s try some one-on-one while we’re at it.

  Emersyn wasn’t surprised to find that the next one inside her head was Gabe. Well, I guess not much has changed for us, right?

  But he was completely wrong. As soon as she heard him use their link, the last bit of energy left her body. Emersyn’s vision tunneled away until she was seeing moving images of a past that wasn’t hers. She didn’t recognize the woman at a kitchen table, crying as she wrote out checks to pay the bills. Neither did she know the two young girls who grew up right before her eyes into beautiful young women. It didn’t make sense, even though she could see it so clearly.

  But then, the dreamlike images changed. They were flashes of military life, filled with heartache and worry. Emersyn began to understand, and as she did the pictures and the feelings that went with them became more clear. She was seeing it all from Gabe’s perspective. Before, she’d known only what he wanted to put in her head, bits of conversation that were no different than conversing aloud. Emersyn sobbed as she felt the constant worry of Gabe wondering if his mother and sisters were going to be all right, if they would have enough to eat, if the girls would have clothes for the new school year or textbooks for college. She felt the stabbing pain of resentment as Gabe left to join the Delta Force, knowing the extra money would mean that much more he could send home to his family.

  And then there was Lucas. Dear, sweet Lucas, looking up at his daddy with wonder and love. The pain in her chest was almost unbearable. She sobbed as she experienced his heartache not only at not being there for the baby, but not being there for her. He loved her. Gabe loved her so much that it shattered him inside every time he looked at her, and she’d completely destroyed him when she’d told him she wasn’t going to stay with the Force. Hot tears ran down her cheeks and into the earth, but she didn’t notice. She wasn’t there in the clearing; she was in Gabe’s past.

  A hand on her shoulder brought her back. Emersyn looked up at Gabe, his own eyes shimmering with moisture. She’d been curled up on the ground, her face down and her paws around her head, but they were now hands. Emersyn hadn’t even realized she’d shifted back. They all had, and they were looking at her with concern.

  Garrison, also human again, knelt in front of her. “Emersyn, what happened? I’ve never seen anyone have a reaction like that. I’m sorry.”

  “I don’t think it was you.” She sniffed as she looked once more at Gabe. “I think it was us.”

  The dragon looked back and forth between them. “We’ll give the two of you some time.” He left the clearing, the others following him.

  Emersyn scooted closer to the still-burning fire and wiped her cheeks with her hands. “I’ve never experienced anything like that. I could see everything. I had no idea that you’d sacrificed so much for your family and how much you worried about them. You never told me.”

  He sat down next to her, the flames casting an orange glow on his hair. “I don’t really like to talk about it. It hurts, knowing that I can never do enough to make up for my father walking out.”

  Pain still radiated in her chest, and a new wave of tears spilled over her lashes. “Oh, Gabe. You don’t have to make up for that. It wasn’t your fault. And I so wish I’d known. All this time, I thought you’d chosen the Delta Force because you were more interested in your career than in me, and certainly more than a family. I was so convinced you’d abandon us, and now I understand that it was the complete opposite. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

  His arm slipped around her as she cried into his shoulder. “It seems we’ve both made some mistakes, but we did them for all the right reasons. I know you mean it, Em, because the same thing just happened to me. Whatever bond we had was increased exponentially by that ceremony. I felt the rejection you felt when I left, your exhaustion on those sleepless nights with Lucas, your hopelessness at wondering if it would ever get easier, your despair at knowing if you were making the right choices for both him and you. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for leaving you with that. I should’ve been honest. I should’ve told you what was really going on in my life.”

  It felt strange to smile at a time like this. She’d been crying so hard that the light from the fire was too much for her eyes, and her body was completely drained from both the outward battle earlier in the day and the inward one just now. But seeing inside each other’s minds that way gave her so much perspective. “If we’d just been upfront with each other, none of this would’ve happened.”

  “True.” He rested his chin on her head, his stubble scratching against her scalp pleasantly. “But maybe then we wouldn’t be who we are. I like to think there’s a reason for everything that happens in our lives, whether we understand it at the time or not. At least, that’s what I always told myself when it came to my family. I liked to think that even though it hurt like hell when my father left, and it was even worse when I saw how it affected my mother, that there could be some sort of positive outcome.”

  Emersyn wiped her face again and sat up. “What kind of positive outcome do you think there is for us?” The question would’ve made her nervous at any other time, as she tested the waters to see what Gabe wanted for their future. She was only just starting to understand what she wanted.

  He was silent for a time as he stared into the flames. “I thought it had to be all or nothing. We were either absolutely together, or we weren’t anything more than two people who happened to have a child together. I’m starting to think it’s not as black-and-white as that. Not for us, and maybe not for anyone.”

  The wisdom that had come from Garrison’s ancient ceremony was remarkable, and Emersyn made a mental note to tell him so later. “We could take it slow,” she suggested. “We know we’re meant to be together in some way. The universe has already told us that. But we could take some of the pressure off ourselves, even though we’ve had a past.”

  His arm wrapped around her and pulled her close. “We could. I have to be honest, though, I’m not sure I’ll know how to take it slow around you. You’ve got quite a power over me, Emersyn. I want to be with you all the time, when things are good or bad. I want to know you’re safe, and that our son is safe. I want to wake up next to you and feel your warmth against my side.”

  A chill had settled into her body after the ceremony, but now it was being driven away by the heat of her desire. Gabe was right. They completed each other in a way that couldn’t be described. They might not always agree, but there was no doubt in her mind that they belonged to each other in a primitive way that they couldn’t deny.

  His lips were as soft as the firelight when he bent forward, brushing them against her mouth experimentally once and then twice when she didn’t protest. His hand cupped her jaw as he kissed her again, moving around to the nape of her neck as he deepened the kiss.

  Emersyn’s body and soul came alive like a flame, igniting at the fuel he provided. The sensation of their lips and tongues moving together was like an erotic dance, one that sent tingles of energy throughout her body to spark at her fingertips and nipples. She allowed him to pull her closer, knowing that he was right. It would be very hard to take it slow, and it would come in ways other than their physical need for each other. He grounded her and strengthened her, evidenced by the way her fatigue dissipated while she was in his arms.

  “I want to see you.” Slowly, so slowly it was almost painful, Gabe pulled off her clothes. He kissed each new facet of her body that he revealed, his lips tender and worshipful against her skin. His hands and lips traced her every curve. The warmth of the fire on one side and the cool of the night on the other sent an extra shiver down her spine, and Gabe’s eyes sparked with amusement. “You keep doing that, and I won’t be able to help myself. It’s impossible to control myself around you, Emersyn.”

  She
slowly closed her eyes and reached out to her panther. It was well aware of the current situation, panting and pacing, eager for what would come, but it was manageable. It’d nearly been wild when Gabe had started coming back around. It would never be completely domesticated, nor did she want it to be. That feral mix was the perfect solution for both of them.

  “I think I understand,” she said with a smile, leaning forward to return the favor. She stripped him of his clothing until they were both naked, exposed to the fire and the stars and each other. Emersyn pushed him back, crawling forward until she straddled him on her hands and knees.

  Gabe gave her an inquisitive look. “I take it you want to make this quick?”

  “Not by any stretch of the imagination.” Emersyn ran her hands across his wide shoulders and down his chest, languishing in the strength which lay inert there for the moment but that she knew would come bursting forth whenever it was needed. Her fingers rippled down his abs and lower, and she moved down to take him in her mouth.

  He gasped and tensed, but then relaxed with a moan as she slid her lips up and down his shaft. There was nothing more important to her right then than bringing him pleasure. She worked her tongue against his velvety soft skin, her body buzzing with delight every time he groaned or his hips bucked softly against her in encouragement. Every indicator of his satisfaction turned her on all the more, until Emersyn was burning so intensely with her need for him, she could hardly stand it.

  Gabe seemed to understand, too, because when she raised her head, he took her by the waist and lifted her. They came together, the two of them truly one in so many ways. They had separate bodies, but those bodies were simply two parts of the same whole. Emersyn threw her head back, feeling her hair slide across her bare skin. Her entire body tingled with energy and love, forcing her toes to curl against his strong thighs. She pulsed against him, feeling him inside her and never wanting this moment to end.

  His fingers stroked down her back, catching her hair and pulling it gently, sending vibrations through her scalp and down her spine. Her panther purred intensely, taking such great joy in this moment that it was as though the rest of the world didn’t exist. She barely even gave thought to the threat of being caught out there by some late evening hiker. Let the whole world see, because this moment was too beautiful to hide.

  Gabe ran his fingertips up her back, across her shoulders, and down her arms until he took her hands in his, entwining their fingers. He held her, and she felt as though she were floating. The muscles in her abdomen tensed, increasing the thrill she was already starting to feel inside. Emersyn let out a cry as her body gave over completely to him. Where she contracted, he expanded; where she floated, he remained a permanent rock, yet the two of them rotated like binary stars at the center of a galaxy. His fingers clamped against hers as they pushed each other off the edge and into oblivion, falling in ecstasy until they came crashing back down to earth.

  She lay on his chest afterward, listening to his heartbeat. Gabe caressed her back, petting her like the cat she was, and she smiled with feline satisfaction. The fire had died down to embers at some point, but their body heat kept them warm. A thought erupted inside her, not one from her brain, but from her heart. Emersyn suppressed it at first, not wanting to risk ruining what the two of them had just shared. Their union had proven to her just how close the two of them were, and it was a beautiful thing to be admired delicately for as long as possible. But the knowledge inside her demanded to be out. “I love you, Gabe.”

  He gently pressed his hand to the back of her head and laid a kiss against her hair. “I know. I love you, too. I always have, Emersyn.”

  She turned her head so that her chin lay against his chest and she could look him in the eye. She smiled at him, thinking of what she’d seen when that telepathic link had been established. It connected them when they were in their animal forms to the other members of the L.A. unit, and that was important, but it was nothing compared to the deepened bond the two of them shared. Emersyn didn’t know if she’d ever be able to get inside his head in the same way again, but she did know she didn’t need to. She knew that when Gabe told her he loved her, he spoke an absolute truth that emanated from his very soul. He loved her in such a genuine way, one that she’d never thought possible, and it was a perfect reflection of her own feelings for him. “I know.”

  9

  Gabe stepped down the ladder and stood back to check his work. The house they’d chosen for headquarters was modern and clean, certainly not the type of place one would expect to go for a child’s birthday party. But the brightly colored balloons and crepe paper that Emersyn had brought home were all up on the walls now as she wanted, and it was looking more like a home than an office space. She’d even given him a massive banner to put up declaring without a doubt that it was Lucas’s first birthday.

  Emersyn walked into the room, a smile spreading across her face. “Oh, Gabe! It’s absolutely perfect! He’s going to love it!”

  “I’m sure he will,” he assured her as he dropped a kiss on her cheek. “I think he’s also really going to love having all his family here.”

  The blush of excitement that had bloomed in her cheeks quickly paled. “I hope he does, because I’m nervous as hell.”

  “There’s no need. My mother is going to love you, and so are my sisters. I admit, Mom was a little irked that I’d never told her about you. She and I are pretty close, and she gave me a good lecture about leaving you behind. But then she got so wrapped up in the idea of having a grandson that she forgot all about it. I’m sure it’s going to be the same once she gets here. She’ll scoop up that baby and she won’t give anyone else a second glance.” In truth, Gabe was a little nervous about seeing his mother as well. He was excited, because he loved her and wanted to spend time with her, but he hadn’t exactly told her about the Force. There would be some tricky navigation there as he showed off the large house and his new friends without giving too much away.

  “Speaking of, don’t you need to get to the airport?”

  Gabe checked his watch and then kissed her again. A smattering of powdered sugar highlighted Emersyn’s cheek, and he gently wiped it away with his tongue. He needed to leave, but for a moment, he wished he could just freeze time and stare at her. Emersyn was so beautiful, and on so many levels. Any man could look at her and see how gorgeous she was on the outside. He certainly hadn’t forgotten it himself, but now he’d seen the rest and he found himself focusing more and more on how alluring she was inside. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Is there anything you need me to pick up while I’m out?”

  “I don’t think so.” She ticked everything off on her fingers. “I’ve got to ice the cake but I’ve got that all ready. The punch is chilling in the fridge, and the table is all set up. I’ve had his presents wrapped for a week. Yeah, I think we’re good.” She gave him a breathless smile that made Gabe wish he had time to take her back upstairs for a few minutes before everyone showed up.

  After fighting airport traffic and waiting on some rather slow baggage claim, Gabe arrived at headquarters with his mother and sisters in tow.

  “Oh, my dear lord!” Mrs. Vinson pressed her hand to her chest as she took in the house. “Gabe, what am I missing? I didn’t think your disability check would pay for a place like this.”

  It still startled him when anyone mentioned the shrapnel in his side. He hadn’t been out of the military for very long, but his life had changed so much over the last few months. Gabe hardly even thought about what he was missing with the Delta Force, even though he’d been looking forward to what the rest of his career would’ve held for him. Now, the Force had filled in most of those gaps, and what he had with Emersyn and Lucas more than made up for the rest. “I told you I’ve got another job, Mom.”

  “Yes, but you still haven’t told me what it is,” she chastised as he helped her out of the passenger seat.

  “He’s some sort of secret agent,” Hope teased, unfolding herself from the back of th
e car. “Like James Bond.”

  “Nah,” Hannah argued. “It’s probably something incredibly boring like a financial analyst or something.”

  Hope was closer than she realized, but Gabe just smiled. “It’s somewhere in between. We can talk about that later. And I don’t live here by myself. I share it with several others. The place is giant, though, so there’s plenty of room.” He brought them in the front door and started to show them around, but his mother cut him off.

  “The rooms will always be here, sweetie. Let me get my hands on that baby!”

  Gabe laughed and turned toward the stairs, but with perfect timing, Emersyn was already coming down with Lucas in her arms. Mrs. Vinson pressed her hands to her mouth as her eyes filled with tears. “Oh. Oh, my goodness. Beautiful. They’re both absolutely beautiful.” By the time Emersyn reached the bottom of the stairs, Gabe’s mother had enfolded both her and Lucas in her arms.

  Watching the tableau, Gabe felt a distinct sense of warmth pass through him as Emersyn hugged his mother back with ease and the two of them quickly began chatting about the baby. The conversation carried on into the living room, where he introduced his mate to his sisters. The rest of the Force and Melody joined them as the party started.

  “The two of you seem to be getting along just fine,” Gabe commented quietly in Emersyn’s ear when he had a moment with her. It seemed that their time together was a rare and precious thing these days. There were plenty of errands to run with the Force as they worked to tame down the shifter gang activity in the area, and although it was going much better than it had in the beginning, it still took a lot of time to sit down and arrange all sorts of negotiations and contracts, not to mention simply listening to the people’s problems so they would know best how to help. Any time they weren’t busy with the Force, Emersyn was off at her clinic. He completely supported her in still doing the work she loved, but it made him miss her all the more.