Secret Baby for the Soldier Bear Read online

  “Not a problem at all, and you know it,” Melody replied. She frowned, studying Emersyn’s face. “Is there something wrong? I mean besides Lucas, of course. That much is obvious.”

  With reassurances from Garrison, her baby boy back in her arms, and help from Melody, Emersyn knew she should be feeling much better about her life. But her old friend knew her better than anyone else, and she wasn’t wrong. “Yeah. I just feel so conflicted. It’s even worse than it was before. I already had a hard time working so much and feeling like I wasn’t taking good enough care of Lucas. It’s only gotten worse since I got here.”

  “That makes sense,” Melody sympathized. “You’ve essentially taken on a second job, and it’s going to take some time to adjust to it all. There’s not much about your life that hasn’t changed in the past week or so.”

  There was the new house and the new job, but there was so much more. “I think most of it is Gabe. I could deal with the rest if it weren’t for him. I just don’t know how to act around him. He’s awoken my panther again. It’d practically been asleep for the longest time, yet I was able to shift just like that yesterday.” She snapped her fingers in the air.

  “Does that mean you feel more for him than you want to admit?” Melody challenged. “I mean, I know you’re angry with him for leaving you like he did. But like I said, we can’t always help the way we feel.”

  “I’m angry. I’m confused. I’m intrigued.” Her body rippled with excitement from merely thinking about him, even though he was so good at ticking her off lately. The attraction between them was undeniable, and she was fighting so hard against it. The strangest part about it was that the harder she fought, the harder the universe was tugging them back together. Even now, her panther swirled anxiously inside her just knowing he was in the house. “It was so sweet seeing how he and Lucas interacted the other day, like they had an intrinsic bond just like Gabe and I do—or did. But then he turned around and did something absolutely infuriating.”

  Melody scratched her neck thoughtfully. “Most men are like that, Em. No one’s perfect. Hell, he might be having just as much of a hard time dealing with your presence as you are with his, not to mention the news that he has a son.”

  “Whose side are you on, anyway?” Emersyn retorted.

  “I’m just saying.”

  “I know.” Melody liked to look at things from all sides, no matter what her actual opinion was. “And you’re probably right. It’s just a lot to deal with.”

  “Well, I’ll get you some breakfast and head to the clinic. Just holler if there’s anything else you need, since I’ll be right next door after that. And take care of that sweet baby.” Melody planted a kiss on Lucas’s forehead before heading out the door.

  The day dragged on as Emersyn worried both over Lucas and her new job. At one point in the afternoon, the boy finally settled down enough that she could sit on the couch with him, and she flicked on the TV to distract herself. The next thing she knew, she was waking up to a knock on the door. She yanked her head up. “Come in.”

  She’d assumed it was Melody, but Gabe was the one who came through the door. He walked right in, shutting the door behind him, and sat next to her on the couch. “How is he? Garrison said you stayed home with him. I talked to Melody for a few minutes in the kitchen before I left for the day, and she said you had things under control, but I’ve been worried sick.” He stroked a gentle finger down the sleeping baby’s back.

  “He’s fine,” she snapped, growing angry at his forwardness. She’d asked him twice to keep his distance and let her handle things, yet there he was again.

  “What about you?” His blue eyes pierced hers as he turned his attention to her instead of Lucas. “You’ve got to be exhausted. Let me take him for a bit so you can rest.” Without giving her a chance to argue, he put his arms around Lucas and lifted him from her lap.

  The boy fussed at being disturbed, but he settled easily into his father’s arms and nuzzled against his chest. His body relaxed visibly, and a hint of a smile pushed up his chubby cheeks.

  As badly as she wanted to snatch him back, Emersyn wasn’t going to do anything to disturb Lucas if he was happy. She realized just how tired her arms were from holding her son all day. “I’m okay,” she replied quietly.

  “I can stay with him if you need to take a shower or get some food or anything.” He focused on the boy in his arms, rocking him gently and smiling at him.

  “I don’t think I even want to move,” she replied honestly. The previous day had been tiring on an emotional level, the night hadn’t been any better as she tried to soothe Lucas, and the day had tipped her over the edge of exhaustion. She was so tired, she was starting to feel sick herself, though she knew it wasn’t the same fever that Lucas had. “I’m pretty sure I could just sit here for the rest of the day and stare off into space.”

  He gestured with his head toward the bed. “Go lay down for a bit and I’ll take Lucas back to my place.”

  She frowned, not because she didn’t trust Gabe with the baby, but because she didn’t really want him to leave. By all logic, she should be taking full advantage of having someone there to help her, especially if it was someone Lucas was willing to be calm for. Was this what it was like for people who had mates by their sides all the time? Did they get a chance to rest, to eat, to just take a ten-minute shower in peace? Did they have someone to share all their decisions and worries with? Of course they did, and the idea was one she wanted more than she ever would’ve admitted out loud. “Why don’t you tell me how things went today? I feel bad about missing out.”

  “Don’t. You didn’t have a choice, and everyone understands that. Amar and I went to speak with the San Fernando conclave. As we were told, they were very different from the San Bernardino guys.”

  She turned away from him, wishing she could completely forget how things had gone with Hunter. “Were they willing to talk? Did they have a better solution?”

  “Yes, and yes. They seemed a little hoity-toity at first, the polar opposite of Hunter and his crew, and their ideas were the complete opposite, too. They definitely want to address the issues with the biker gangs, but they do have some value for their lives. Their idea is simply to talk to the Alphas of the gangs and maybe even get them all together in the same room to work it out. Their approach is a stepped one that starts with talking and negotiating and escalates up to getting the police involved. Even at the worse, they don’t agree with a blanket elimination like Hunter wants, but I’m not sure about asking law enforcement for help, either.”

  “No,” Emersyn agreed, glad to have something to think about besides her sick child, who was still quite content in Gabe’s arms. “That puts all shifters at risk. We don’t know enough about these gangs yet, but if what Hunter said is true, then they’re incredibly violent and they don’t care who gets in the way. To me, that translates to them being a risk when it comes to protecting our secret.”

  “Right. If they feel threatened by the police, they might very well shift. That happens sometimes when our emotions get the better of us.”

  She looked up, seeing that those ultramarine eyes were focused on her once again. She rolled her shoulders, not entirely certain how to respond to him. Now that they were in the same room together, she could feel the bond between them like a silvery thread that extended through the air and touched each of their hearts. It incited their inner beasts, and she knew that despite how tired her human body was, her panther self was excited at having him there on her territory.

  It was clear he was speaking about yesterday’s incident. She’d been so reluctant to forgive him for what he’d done, but her conversation with Melody had made her start thinking about it in a different way. Maybe she could have a little more sympathy and compassion instead of just assuming none of this bothered him. After all, she was a doctor. “It happens. It’s okay.”

  His grin transformed his face, and she looked away to keep it from showing up on her face as well. “I guess we’re
both still figuring out how we’re going to do this. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do, and now we have the weight of the Force on our shoulders, too. It’s going to take us some time, and I think we’ve both been too hard on each other.”

  Emersyn rubbed her lips together, pleasantly surprised at the sense of comfort that came with having him there. “I swear Lucas knows you’re his father. He doesn’t let just anyone hold him, especially when he’s sick. He usually clings to me like a little leech.” She reached over and gently cupped her hand over the baby’s cheek, glad there was someone else in the world who made him feel good. Every child deserved as many people who loved them as possible.

  “He just knows what a good mother you are.” Gabe’s eyes were velvety soft when he looked up at her. “Emersyn, I’m sorry for the things I’ve said; when I’ve made you feel like I’m judging you for your parenting skills. I’m not.” He pulled in a deep breath. “I’m just trying to make up for lost time, I guess, and doing it in the wrong way. I feel so bad for you having to do this all on your own. I know it isn’t easy, and I never would’ve left if I’d known.”

  His words meant so much to her. It was nothing more than a little cloud of sentences in the air, something fleeting that he could deny tomorrow, yet the power of it burrowed right down to her heart. All those sleepless nights, all that worrying, and in one moment, it could all be better. “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. There’s been a lot that’s been put in perspective for me over the last few months. I thought a top-notch career was the be-all, end-all goal. I thought I was doing the right thing by climbing the ladder as high as I could, but it put me out of sight of what really mattered. I didn’t know about Lucas, but I did know how important you were to me. I ignored that for all the wrong reasons, and I’m really sorry.”

  Tears burned the backs of her eyes. She blinked them away and let her gaze fall down into his arms. “He’s asleep,” she whispered.

  “I’ll put him to bed.” With expert skill, Gabe rose from the couch without disturbing the baby and took him to the adjoining nursery. Emersyn leaned against the doorway, watching the care Gabe took with his son, and realized how heavy her heart had been.

  When he rejoined her in the main room of her suite, Emersyn could no longer hold back her tears. They left hot rivers down her cheeks as she looked at him. “I’m sorry, too.”

  Seeing her crying, Gabe rushed to hold her in his arms. “For what?”

  “For thinking the worst about you instead of just talking to you. For refusing to track you down and tell you about Lucas. You deserved better than that, and so did he. I denied you both because I was just so angry and scared, and it seemed easier to do it on my own than hope for help from someone else.” She sobbed against his shoulder, clinging to him as the pain racked her chest.

  His hand smoothed over her back. “I understand. We both made some mistakes, but it’s not too late. We can still make up for them. We’re here together now. Lucas has both of us. It’s going to be all right.”

  “Is it? Every time I convince myself of that, everything changes.” His body was so warm and strong, and his skin smelled of soap and sunshine. Emersyn wanted to bury herself into his chest and forget the rest of the world existed. Her panther purred its assent, pleased with the luxury of having someone else to lean on.

  “You can’t know how sorry I am that you’ve been doing this on your own. I know I already said it, but really.” He lifted her chin from his shoulder to look her in the eyes and wiped the tears from her cheek with his thumb. “Emersyn, I don’t want you to ever feel alone again.”

  Her heart lurched in her chest, and it headed directly for him. She couldn’t say if she started it or if he did, but suddenly they were kissing. His lips were warm, soft, both consoling and enticing. A thrill of energy shot across her tongue and down her throat, racing through her body to reach her core. Her panther swirled and rippled inside, once again brought to life in a way she’d no longer thought possible. Where her hands had clutched at him for relief and reassurance, they now skimmed over his hard muscles in exploration.

  Gabe tightened his grip on her waist, pressing her close against his body. He moved his lips from hers and skimmed her jawline back to her earlobe, giving it a nip before roving down her neck in an exotic line that ignited her very blood. “I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered as he pulled the top of her blouse aside to kiss her collar bone. “I know what we have together, and what we can have if we only allow ourselves.”

  She hadn’t permitted herself to fall into anything with abandon since she’d found out she was pregnant with Lucas. Every little thing, every moment, was a decision that had to be scrutinized and thought out before she took any action. Now, it was as though the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders. Emersyn didn’t need to think about it. Her body refused to allow in any sort of logic and reasoning as she tipped her head back in sheer delight.

  Gabe’s hands slipped up her spine and he buried his fingers in her hair. His lips pressed to the very center of her collar bone before dipping downward. She leaned back, succumbing to him as he unbuttoned her shirt and explored the curves of her breasts that showed above her bra. His tongue dipped below the fabric and across her nipple. Emersyn shivered, wondering how she’d let herself go so long without this. It was as though she’d been in the desert, skirting widely around the oasis because she was too afraid of drinking the water and enjoying it too much. Now she dove in, lifting her leg to wrap around his thigh and keep him pressed against her. She could feel the hardness of his arousal, and she let out a gasp of desperation.

  “Emersyn.” Gabe straightened, heat filling his eyes. “If we keep going like this, I might not be able to control myself. I want to know that this is what you want, too.”

  Simply standing there and holding each other, Emersyn could feel him in the very marrow of her bones. She could sense not only his human side but his animal as well, fully aware of the way it moved inside him and controlled him. There was no one else like him. She needed him in the same way her body needed air, even though he was already making her forget how to breathe. “Yes,” she replied, feeling the electricity in her lips as they drew close to his once again. “Please, yes.”

  They came together in a frantic clash of desperation. Gabe peeled back the thin film of her shirt and kissed a line down her ribs and hips as he freed her from the confines of her jeans. Emersyn skimmed her palms over each new chiseled muscle as she uncovered it, her body buzzing as she realized how close she was to finally fulfilling this craving that lived deep inside her.

  She squealed in surprise as he spun her around and yanked her close to him. Gabe kissed and bit at her shoulder, his lips soft but his teeth pleasantly sharp. His hands glided around her waist and up to embrace the globes of her breasts.

  Emersyn leaned against him as she tipped her head to the side to give him easier access. That stirring inside her that she’d been able to define so easily a moment ago as her panther was no longer separated from her human body. They were now one and the same as she reached behind her to wrap her fingers around his hardness, both of them hungry for the one thing that would bring them the ultimate satisfaction. His skin was velvety smooth, a contrast to the solidity underneath, and she stroked it for her own indulgence as much as his. Gabe returned the favor, one hand sliding down her stomach and down between her legs, his fingers moving expertly, confidently.

  Any last bit of doubt dissolved as concentric circles of heat radiated from her core, enveloping her body in pure rapture. Emersyn leaned heavily on him as her knees lost their strength, sucking air in through her teeth as she reveled in this heady heaven. Her muscles twitched as he brought her to a crest of desire that climbed up and up and up until it seemed impossible to go any further into the sky before crashing back down and drenching her body in fire.

  The bed was only a few feet away, but they tumbled to the floor together. Emersyn wrapped her legs around his waist, welcoming
him as he filled her. She’d had her gratification, but Gabe’s careful attention had left her primed and ready. The sensation of him inside her extended to her very soul. His cells lived between hers, and the two of them moved together in synchronized rhythm. Emersyn clutched at him, her breath ragged as her muscles clamped around him and drew him further in, demanding all he had to give and more.

  Gabe was more than willing to give it, gripping her hips as he scraped his teeth along her neck. Then he was kissing her again, his tongue roving inside her mouth and gliding against her own, the texture of it at once foreign and familiar. His rhythm quickened as he expanded inside her, and she shivered around him as their bodies surrendered to each other.

  7

  Gabe stood on the back deck, staring out at the gorgeous mountain view. He’d been so interested in this house mostly because of this closeness to the wild lands, but now his interests had changed. Eventually, he would need to get out and go for a run in his true form, but his tryst with Emersyn had given him a sort of satisfaction he would never find even from filling his lungs with fresh air and expending his muscles until they burned.

  A permanent grin had occupied his face the entire morning, and he didn’t think it would go away any time soon. He didn’t want it to. Emersyn was just…everything. She made the world stand out in sharp relief, a high definition view that he couldn’t see when he was on his own. Being with her hadn’t simply been a physical need that he wanted to satisfy. It had been a more deeply rooted desire than that. The physicality of it was incredibly nice, but it was merely symbolic of what he felt for her on a spiritual level. Emersyn was like coming home again.

  The only problem was that he knew there were still so many things to explain to her. She deserved it, but he hadn’t wanted to taint the purity of what they’d just experienced with dragging them back to the past once again. The right time would come, and he was more certain of that now than ever.